Our omnipresent God at Gateway High School

Friday I experienced what would qualify as probably the worst day I’ve had while being out here, and, to be honest, probably the worst day I’ve had in a very very long time.  What is more impactful to me when I think of this fact is the reality that for 70+ people and their family and friends, this was one of the worst days/times of their lives. 

A couple days ago, a man with a premeditated plan, James Holmes , entered into a theater showing The Dark Knight Rises and with a rifle, a shotgun, and two handguns, started to shoot random and innocent people.  Twelve people and children died while fifty-eight were left injured.  But the number doesn’t stop there of those wounded/injured in some way, although not physically.  We interns were given the opportunity to go to Gateway High School (The school where people were taken to give statements and also where relatives and friends were waiting to hear word as more information was surfacing) on Friday morning.  Being in there was unnerving.  It was unnerving from realizing the gravity of the situation, from feeling the pain, sorrow, and anticipation in the room, as well as realizing that there was nothing I could do about it.  I was able to talk to one guy who was with a group awaiting news about the hospital their friend was in, able to hug one girl, as well as stand and be with a man and his wife awaiting news of their son who was still unaccounted for, during the prayer.  I consider that a blessing because in a situation like that, I know I can’t do anything. 

Looking back on that time though, and even looking back on it later that day, I was blessed to be a part of something much bigger than what I could have imagined.  Although I was able to provide not an ounce of anything from my own ability, resources, or strength, I’ve got a God and Father, full of comfort, peace, and love, that came and showed up in that very school.  I have no idea what I would have expected in a time like this, but once we got inside, you could see/feel God at work.  The work being done there was nothing more than people and pastors coming to love, support, and pray with/for these families and friends.  We had nothing to offer them of our own ability, but we could love on them as best we could and support them during this time.  I think I met around eight different pastors at least and there were other people, along with us, there for the same reason. 

The wonderful blessing of seeing the bigger picture came while talking to a man named Rick.  Rick was a Filipino man who worked at a nearby church.  At one point, two officers walked by us and long story short, I found out that one of the officers was a very messed up kid that came to a camp that Rick counseled at.  And while Rick was at camp counseling this kid, among others of course, the second officer present was actually friends with this messed up kid praying for Rick and basically the influence and impact that he would have on him.  Rick actually ended up playing a role in leading this kid to salvation and the other officer happened to be a Christian as well.  Before they took off they offered words of encouragement and thanked us for being there. 

This became another instance that taught/is continuing to teach me how powerful our God is.  We serve an omnipresent God who is everywhere at once.  His presence was certainly at that high school during a time of crisis, and his love was being spread by his children that showed up.  Above all, I am continuing to learn that we aren’t in control, and moments will come to show that we have no control or power.  Those are the moments (along with any other one) that we should be on our knees looking to God for strength, comfort, and peace.  

Living life with each other, and loving one another

I feel like I’ve been getting stretched to and past what I thought I could take since I’ve been here, and day in and day out I’m amazed at how its possible to keep moving forward, even through the tough times.  This past week, as a whole I guess and even particularly the end of the week, Camp Hero, the wildfires, and other things have pushed me to the point of being stressed and tired and initially/honestly wanted to just take a step away from it all and try to regroup myself. 

What’s recently amazed me is the idea that working towards a goal and a purpose, while putting your trust in the fact that it’s for the right reason (spreading the love of God and loving all we come in contact with), is enough to give you the strength to carry on day after day, even when you feel as if you had enough.  Thinking back to my Urban Min class and thinking back to the reality that God truly has a heart for the poor, a heart that so many in our society has locked away and disregarded, makes each encounter, each gunshot heard, each shooting we hear about, each tantrum from our kids at Camp Hero, each moment of attitude that should not be coming from a 3^rd grader, and each conversation with these kids and people here an absolute joy.  Now there is no way I can say that I think it’s a necessary joy in that moment, ;-) but what I can say is that, there is so much going on behind the scenes that we often don’t get the privilege to find out about.

Knowing the few stories that I do gives me the option and better ability to love these kids better in spite of their bad spots, because first off, so many of what influences them pushes them to this point and by the time they get to us, they really cant help it necessarily, and second, we’re to love everyone.  That includes orphans, widows, homeless (in what ways we can, obviously will vary given different circumstances), ‘bad’ kids with attitudes that make you want to just lose it on them, and people that are just different than you.  There obviously isn’t a surefire way that works to love everyone, but if we take the time to get past initial first reactions, attitudes, and really love on a person, we’ll find ways to love and care for people in ways that best meet their needs and not just in a way that we think they should be helped. 

How do I love on a boy who has told me his family may be getting deported? How do I love on a girl who tells me about the constant gunshots she hears outside of their apartment during the night? How do I love a boy who can push your buttons constantly, not listen, talk back, fight, etc, but gets frightened when we’re in the park with the rest of the class and he heard what he thought was a gunshot, but was really just a group doing construction on a house?  When I really sit back and think, so many kids in the class I’m with have stories that show why they act like they do.  Cant lie. I know that I prob would have given up on them before because I was fed up and cant handle it.  Now, I cant help but want to be around them more and be a positive influence.  I know that an answer that I have even failed to do enough of is to pray.  PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.  I’ve yet to truly understand and realize the power of prayer, but I do know that if nothing else, that’s something I can do. And also, dont think that you are going to be able to make it through alone.  At least for sure dont think that youll make it out well.  Community is a part of life.  Community brings people into your life that can support you and walk along side you.  While it may not be always super duper, its a process that can, if handled well, end up as something beautiful.  

First full group picture! (Rebekah, Me, Grant, Jill, Mike, Funmi)

Community

Community – a unified body of individuals (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

It’s been about five weeks that I’ve been here in Denver now, and I know that one of the most impactful things that is really really sticking to me, is community.  For multiple reasons, some of the ‘communities’ I have been a part of before seem to fit and not fit this definition at the exact same time. Every one of them is united by some kind of purpose.  It seems like oftentimes though, outside of that one purpose, some people could care less to do with some others.  And in seeing and understanding how much goes on in our city, state, country, and world today, that’s understandable.  So on that, I have come to the point of seeing that not everything can be united in community, necessarily all the time.  (And I also realize that not everyone may consider many things to be a community so then there is no need to care or address that.)

The Christian community that I’ve been blessed to be a part of out here has been eye-opening.  Here at Providence, community is talked about a lot.  There are even things that they have called community groups and basement groups, which meet on other days outside of Sunday church just to fellowship, love each other, and read/discuss God’s Word while finding ways to be there and challenge each other along the way. A phrase that one of my professors uses to describe some churches many times is “us 4, no more, and shut the door.” (or something along those lines). The basic point of that statement, however it is correctly phrased, is that many times, it seems like church has now become this thing that can only be done inside of four walls of a church building on Sunday.  Here, in Colorado, I’ve been blessed to see how it shows through the people that living here in community with other Christians and living and interacting with the neighbors around them is a part of life.  It won’t always be easy, our intern group can attest to how it can become messy at times, but looking back and seeing how we grew from that and different scenarios, that messiness is what has made us better as a team and closer as friends. 

From these past couple of weeks, we’ve been able to experience the awesomeness of community and how it can suck at times, but then the beauty of it all is when we struggle together and ultimately grow from that.  Our group, this church, and all of us as a body, are far from understanding everything and how things should be done.  Many mistakes can and def will continue to be made, but that’s all apart of how you grow. 

I’m learning so much here that it’s becoming hard to get all my thoughts placed. :/ (weird that that’s so good and semi bad at the same time)  What I do know though is that I have been a part of a family here that I haven’t experienced before, and have been apart of something that cant be paralleled to anything from my past.  I need prayer that all that comes from this will continue to change me and that I’ll (along with Jill and Mike) come back to Cedarville and maybe even Akron with something that will impact and, who knows, possibly even teach others.  It’s funny, I’ve heard so many stories about people coming out to Colorado to visit or whatnot and then eventually staying here for good.  Gosh, there is obviously something in store for me elsewhere, cause I’d so like to stay, but I know I’ve got two more years of college ahead of me.  I want to dive into things now, but I know I’ve still got much to learn. Lets see where this goes.

Thanks so much to all of you who have supported me financially and prayerfully.  It’s so greatly appreciated and I wish I could do better at showing you all the crazy, amazing things that have been going on here. 

Thoughts on this past week and a big thanks to an influential man with a contagious heart for the city

Here I am, getting ready to start week 4 of this internship, looking onto this next week of Camp Hero and looking back to all that’s happened, particularly this past week at in particular.  These past 3 weeks have been so challenging and informational/insightful.  I’ve learned so many things here and there, most about both myself and faith so far.

Haha, I first off want to say that I have the utmost respect for teachers.  Camp Hero was so challenging, for many reasons, and the fact that teachers deal with things day in and day out is incredible.  While I don’t mean to be disrespectful necessarily to many out there, but we continually need greater teachers.  Within the past two weeks or so, we’ve learned so much about the public school systems and all that is wrapped up, discussed, and involved in that.  It’s an unfortunate fact that so many people realize that the young children in many schools are being slighted, but the necessary change isn’t able to be made due to unions, tenure, and other things.  Now I know that there is so much to be said about that, but in what I have been able to look back and see from the schooling I’ve been privileged to receive, so many kids are missing out on quality education.  Due to that, many lose interest, drop out, continually get stuck in the poverty from which they came, etc.  I say all that to praise the many good/great teachers out there who have a heart for teaching students and teaching them the value of learning and becoming better people in that area, and also to encourage those who are going to college to become teachers.  I’ve talked to a couple education majors in the past and one of their statements has stood out to me this whole time.  This isn’t verbatim, but he pretty much said that he would never work in an urban setting and would go far from it.  While I’m struggling to figure out where I fit in this whole equation with where I’m at now, I just want to add my voice to the crowd of those saying that there is a need for great teachers who are willing to step up to the challenge and reach these kids who are otherwise going to get pushed through the system by people who may not really be looking out for them so much as their paycheck.   The urban community needs to be reached in so many ways, physically, educationally, and spiritually. 

I’ve been able to work with 3^rd graders at Camp Hero with another intern and a teacher from a local public school.  From 9-noon, it’s Mr. Mark who is teaching them and giving them lessons that have to do with literacy and things like that, then from 1-2:30, Jill and I have them and either do games or crafts and stuff.  It’s been one of the toughest things, just between realizing that it’s partially a summer camp, they need the push to learn and progress so they aren’t behind once the year starts, etc.  I’m struggling to find out how I can be most effective with this wonderful opportunity that we’ve been placed in.  While they may get on my nerves often due to whatever reason, I desperately am looking for a way to let God’s love show through me and let him use me in a way to best serve these kids.  As I had mentioned before, this is becoming a hot summer, both in temperature and in violence (2 shootings within the past week, a double homicide 1.5 weeks ago, and just heard shots a couple min ago).  These kids are growing up in an environment that doesn’t necessarily help them succeed.  Hopefully people like those at Providence Bible Church, Camp Hero, Boy’s and Girl’s Club of Metro Denver, and more can continue to have an impact that begins to change this community from the inside out literally, like we’ve been able to experience now and more-so after we leave. 

Today’s sermon has been working on my mind all day and I know is going to be a constant challenge in my everyday life from now on.  The basic point, in short, was realizing the blessing, purpose and inevitability of enemies.  The sermon was over 2 Samuel 16:5-14.  Pastor J talked about how even though David was being cursed, David took it as something to leave in the sovereignty of God and if it’s from God, then he accepts it, if not, God will deal with Shimei on His terms.  J was contrasting how the typical reaction nowadays and even back in that time was to fight fire with fire, in a sense, and how David, MLK, and even Jesus took a radical move to not fight back, even calmed those with them to not fight back.  They fought fire with true love.  They truly embraced the meaning of love your enemies.  I know that with all I’ve been learning and being challenged with, I cant just keep it to myself, I’ve got to share it somehow, I’ve got to stand up for the good things that I’ve seen here that may not be somewhere else.  Since I’ve been here I’ve been challenged with my faith and where it really is and how strong it is (if it’s even really there).  Something said in the sermon that really stuck with me was, “Faith without risk is a dead faith.”  I wholeheartedly believe that and I know that if you’re not really risking something, how can you say you really believe and are fighting for something? Things really grow, impact, and spread many times through adversity, and the things that are being fought for in the city are so far against the common way of life that it’ll be a long time before it gets righted, if ever.  But just because it may be hard and nothing may be happen in my lifetime, that doesn’t mean I give up caring for the orphan, widow, and the forgotten.  I’m continually being shaped into having both a heart for the city, and a heart for the world.

Who woulda thought that 3 of us from Cedarville, from the
same class, would be in the same city for the summer?

*P.S. – none of this would happen without the influence of one of my profs, Dr. Cook.  Thanks Dr. Cook for all the things you are doing at Cedarville, all the people you bring in, the weekends you simulate, the videos you show, and the heart for the city that you truly have and are trying to open up so many people’s eyes to.  We continually need more people like you in our lives.  I know I've got so much more to continually learn, but I wouldn’t be here getting impacted, with these other awesome interns (2 from Cedarville as well), and learning these things if it wasn’t for you :)

Diversity and the impact of a local church

I'm going to share a part from the book I'm reading called One But Not The Same by Chris Williamson.  The title of this particular section leading up to the actual start of the book is called, A Diverse City.  "... Christ's bride is a racially mixed, economically mixed, and gender mixed bride.  This means that Jesus is in a mixed marriage!  That's beautiful and it should make us shout, but there is an obvious disconnect that should also make us weep, and here it is: The kingdom of God on earth through the church appears to be theoretical at best because the city coming from heaven is diversified whereas the city going to heaven is by and large homogenized in its local expressions.  In other words, we don't look like where we're going.  Our churches within the Church and our spiritual cities within the City are sadly segregated and separated along racial and denominational lines.  We all know that no segregated and separated church is going to have a lasting impact on a diverse world.  It's past time for the church, or should I say kingdom of God on earth, to come together and be united in the midst of our diversity.   We are much more potent and successful when we come together under the banner of Jesus.  We are much more reflective of heaven and God's great love when we come together as one."

Reading this has recently stuck out to me because I've been able to firsthand be a part of what it's like when a church is together in the midst of diversity (racially, economically, etc).  It's hard for me to describe what Providence has been to me so far other than a pretty sharp glimpse of what was said in that section.  This church is literally filled with so many different types of people.  Caucasians, African-Americans, Hispanics, African, wealthy, poor, ex-felons, etc have come to and even are apart of this church.  I've even met at least one of all those that I just described.  What I've been able to have been a part of so far this summer is truly unique.  Having this many people here at a church, where they aren't just another group of people able to be brought to sit in the pews, adds a level of variety to the church in a sense that when they go out to do work in the community, for one, it'll truly be a united force going out, but also, such diversity allows for a variety of views and insight into how things are or could be in given scenarios.  Having such a diverse congregation that is willing to go out and serve lets the church get a hand in the community that they might not have otherwise had.  With different people helping to lead the way here and there, the reach of the church can grow to become endless in many ways.  

A great example that sticks out to me came from today.  Today was the celebration that we had in Globeville.  In short, it was a neighborhood barbecue, party, and the opening of the neighborhood pool.  It was awesome to see how we were able to hook up with a local rec director and leader, Boogie, the organization Globeville cares, and other people to just make this event happen and to have a great day with those people in the community.  It was awesome because we were able to see a good handful of the people that we had gone out and surveyed when we were trying to get the building that the city was offering for grabs.  What was awesome about the leaders in the church was the fact that they said they hoped that they could get this building, but even if it wasn't meant for them to have it, they still had no doubt that they were going to stick around and make sure to do what they could in the community.  Building, or no building, Providence would be getting involved in Globeville and hopefully helping in whatever way possible.  With a church full of admitting, diverse, sinful people, who have problems just like anyone else, it's incredible to see the depth of service they are able to provide to those in these surrounding 9 neighborhoods and even beyond.  

Boogie, in the middle with the sleeveless shirt and tats, stands alongside
Pepe, a pastor at Providence at the beginning of the celebration

Thoughts so far about this hood....

Sirens throughout the night, news of shootings a couple days ago and a week ago, and other things remind me of that constant reality that this isn't Cedarville or Akron (although Akron has started picking up in certain areas).  Like they told us from the beginning, we're going to be not only serving in the hood, but living in it as well.

Depending on what you watch, who you know, or what your previous perceptions or views about the hood are will greatly shape how you feel about things wherever you are.  Not to point any fingers or say anything negative about anyone, but growing up in schools where there is a sometimes a stigma about things that might surround the hood, it was easy to come here hesitant about what may happen.  I was both curious and nervous at first about what it'd be like walking these streets at night, who I might meet, what could happen, etc, etc, etc.  Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! I know that there will be fears and caution about things in life, especially when going to a place like the slums overseas, or the hood in the states.  For someone who has the ability to stay out of it and sees no need to go there, yea, I can kinda see why many may steer clear of it.  I absolutely love it here, and I love the model that PBC is showing in respect to that.  There are times when people think about helping others in the inner city, but they do things from their comfortable places and maybe dont get down and dirty in the mess that there is here.  This church, and what seems like almost a majority of its 250 members, live to live among those they serve.  As Juan often puts it, "They are doing life with them." While there is problems of course here, the type of tight knit community that I've seen here is awesome.  And to top it off, Providence is being made known among the area, which means that Christ is reaching some places that may or may not have otherwise heard of Jesus.

I figured that I should def write something leaned more towards the title of this blog, so that's one reason why I'm writing this.  Another reason is because I'm realizing that even though there are dangers and things wont be easy when you're moving somewhere like the hood, if you're being called there, its for a purpose and while troubles may come, I believe that you will be provided for until your work for God is completed (if it ever is).  So with that realization, I know that I'll have fears every now and then, but regardless, that shouldn't freeze me into inaction.  Knowing that I'm doing work for God and continually being reminded of his heart for these (and all people), is what gives the energy and confidence to know that this is all worth the stress and struggle that it may provide because of the triumph that will be well earned.  These people here are incredible and I don't know what I'd do if I hadn't met some of them already.  Until next time :)

*A question posed by a guy with Camp Hero , that i think is interesting to think about when serving others is, "Is Love Enough?"

****P.S. - Please pray for the Denver area, especially over here in Clayton and other neighborhoods around.  A week ago, a kid got shot in near the school where Camp Hero is at, and then last Friday, two 21 year olds (or somewhere in that range) got shot down the mile from our house.  It is apparently being predicted that this is gonna be a hot summer. Both temperature-wise and in terms of things and violence happening.  We're gonna be right in the middle of it all, which is crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

It's crazy what kinda things you may learn given certain scenarios.  During those times, you'll learn things about yourself, those around you, and even how aware to things you become, or how checked out you may become.  The way those thoughts, feelings, or revelations show themselves can come in any kind of way.

Through different challenges from people like David, Juan, Alysa, and Z, continuing to work on figuring out who I am and what makes me, me, it hasn't taken long for me to become more aware in situations and to be more transparent with others when it comes to how I may have reacted in any situation (mainly if I think I could have been taken wrong, or it was clearly bad).  Not that I'm saying that I now critically analyze everything I do, but I am paying attention to things that could need to be fixed.  This week has brought both positives and things to think about.  A sweet thing came from our staff meeting that we had yesterday.  In that staff meeting we basically talk about how things are going, how we are doing, and something that was either new, good, or both from the past week.  

The building being bid for in Globeville

Over the past two weeks now, we've been involved with doing two tasks that I would have been certain to try and avoid in the past.  Those two tasks were going door-to-door with surveys and calling over a hundred people on the phone for whatever reason.  It's crazy to think about after the fact, but this task I thought that I would hate, grew on me, and for a certain cause or reason like what we were doing, I'd go door-to-door like we did all over again.  Last week, we went door-to-door in Globeville (~1000 homes) because there is a building that the church is looking to put a bid on because the city is offering it to whatever organization they deem to be the best for the community.  Our purpose in going out was to survey the people in the neighborhood to see what all it is that they'd want out of a building that is pretty central in the community.  At first, I was hesitant and really didnt want to mainly because I figured that I'd be bothering people, they'd possibly outright reject me, and I honestly thought  I'd fumble over things to say.  Some of those may have been extreme versions (which all actually happened), but the point was going past that fear and continuing on to carry on because of the purpose behind it.  If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have met some of the awesome people in the community and get to have half hour conversations with them.  Ya never know what'll happen until you step past that hesitancy, fear, or whatever.  And to top it off, who cares what bad could happen?  It's for a good cause and you're doing what you can.  After that, you can do no more.   In that staff meeting yesterday, Juan had mentioned something that he said before but I hadn't given much thought to.  He basically said that there was something that seemed to give the people I was talking to some sort of ease, which then led to long conversations.  I think thats awesome, not only for me, but I know a couple of the other interns had the same kinda reservations at first, and we had the same kind of great convos.  You really don't know what will come from something like taking surveys door-to-door until you actually do it and give it a chance. The other thing we did was call all the kids that had been accepted into this camp called Camp Hero.  Our basic job at the camp will be to help with a thing called Read-to-Achieve, which will work to help kids 1st-3rd continue to keep what they've learned and not drop back a half of a grade in reading ability (apparently that is what commonly happens).  I basically had the same reservations at first, but then that was quickly changed just because I got used to it.  In less than 3 hours, we pumped out over 250+ phone calls to parents to make sure their kids were going to be there when it starts on Monday.